So heres my favourite:
Three parachutists accidently land in the congo jungle and are captured by a native cannibal tribe. The leader of the tribe says to them: "You must go into the jungle and pick three of the same type of fruit and come back here and stick the fruit inside your rectum. Whoever gets all three pieces of fruit inside his rectum without making a sound can leave, but if you make any kind of reaction we will eat you"
So the first man goes into the jungle and comes back with oranges. He manages to stick one half way into his rectum before he screams in agony and is eaten. Then the second man comes back with grapes, and he sticks all three in his rectum but before the last one goes all the way he bursts out laughing and is eaten. In heaven the first man asks him: "Why did you laugh you were so close!" And he replies: "I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"